When I decided to move to Brazil in 2013, I had to make choices. Like everything in life, I chose to get my family references and new opportunities, but left many important things back. Was born and lived in the United States until the 25 years. I left my parents in Florida when I went to college and then went specialize in New York and a career. I knew the weight of the matches and the power of seduction that new places caused me. So that now, a country and unfamiliar language - just remember the words my grandmother had taught in Portuguese -, a different culture, everything seemed to be extremely attractive. The only problem that afflicted me was thinking about how to make new friends, those real and special to people who phoned in the middle of the night, no fear, to vent, cry or tell you something wonderful that happened unexpectedly. Every city change, a list of friends left, others who conquered, but always a few hours away. Five years ago, It was quite different.
Several studies show that a lack of social interaction with people you like, and who truly care about you, can lead to loneliness and being, including, harmful to health. Researchers say that social isolation triggers a cellular response to low immunity and increases the chance of disease. The psychiatry department at Harvard University since 1938 develops a study of the physical and social habits. In 80 years of research, it was found that good personal relationships keep us happier and healthier. people alone, disconnected and without friends see your health and brain activity decline faster and, Consequently, they live less. Importantly, do not reference the "number" of friends, especially in social networks, but the "quality" of friendships.
William Rawlins, professor of interpersonal communication at Ohio State University, defines that to be classified as "quality of friendship" you need to find someone you can talk, can count on at all times and is someone to enjoy life with you. All this we found, mainly, when we are young, in high school and college days. From there, We begin to follow our own ways and face the separations that life and our choices impose. Obligations and professional ambitions become more important. Friendships will languishing and dying in the course of our history. The less time invested in the preservation of our friends, easier it gets live without them. So that now, at some point, will miss them and reestablish lost connections will be more painful. Keep friendships consolidated already demand attention and persistence, not the "leftovers of time".
For those who change city or country, It gets the impression that all have been part of something, They have friends and social life. We can not regard this as something insurmountable. Stay feeling like a stranger will only paralyze you and create barriers to their socialization. Recalling that friendships are not a luxury, They are important to our health and should be prioritized. You will not know your best friend the next few decades in the first week, but you can start making some attempts, how did.
always attend the same academy, at the same times. arrive early, talk to people, pull a matter of common interest. At work, participate in activities outside office hours, accepted the invitation for happy hour. Look for expatriate groups, always with interesting programs and interaction. It's a great option to exchange experiences and to meet people who, like you, He is trying to integrate. Greet your neighbors, a "good day" costs nothing, be nice to find anyone in the elevator, in the laundry, bakery in the neighborhood. Use social networks and applications to make new friends, to improve their fluency in the new language, to learn more about the culture of the country you have chosen. Beauty salons offer the possibility to start a conversation with the person next to the chair. Sign up for a course in something of interest, look for volunteer programs, anyway, is integrated-, be open to meeting new people and friendships emerge.
Conquer a friend means having with whom to share joys and sorrows, giving and receiving lap, maintain physical and mental health, live longer and better. A friend is our reference, It is someone with whom we share our lives. And, we must recognize, everything is much better with them!
About Jennifer Lobo
Daughter of Brazilian businessmen, born in the US, graduated from Auburn University, Alabama, majoring in Communication and an MA in Public Relations. Certified by the Matchmaking Institute, enterprising, is the founder and CEO of social networking platform MeuPatrocinio.com. author of "How to Con $ eguir a Rich Man", written jointly with Regina Vaz, couples therapist.