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Fabiano de Abreu. Photo: Personal archive.
Fabiano de Abreu. Photo: Personal archive.

Recognize the four reasons for dissatisfaction with your life and how to deal with everyone

Psychoanalyst and neuroscientist Fabiano de Abreu lists the main factors that generate dissatisfaction and discouragement in people and how to deal with these negative feelings

Rage, sadness, loneliness, frustration and anxiety. Feelings that are more and more frequent in everyday life and have been aggravated by the pandemic. They are the cause / consequence of that lack of interest in day-to-day activities and the difficulty of concentrating on the simplest tasks. All of this is quite normal, according to the psychoanalyst, neuroscientist and researcher of human behavior Fabiano de Abreu, Harvard trained, in the United States. “Almost everyone has gone or will go through a time like this, no matter who, where or when, the question is to identify the triggers to work with them ”, explains the scientist.

And for those who think the problem is in accounts payable, in the house not conquered or in those extra pounds is wrong. The first major cause pointed out by the specialist is personal relationships. “The lack of deep and true relationships creates a great existential void, we are dependent on social contact, of touch and affection ”, explains. Fabiano stresses that it is not about quantity, but with quality. “It is essential to create deep bonds with someone, develop empathy, identification, we have some feeling of belonging to a place or a community, even if it’s just inside your home ”, highlights. The psychoanalyst's tip is to identify who are the special people in your life and work these relationships so that they are valued.

Another point that often affects individuals is the pending issue, that is, unresolved issues in the past that haunt the present. “Believing that only the past represents you and your life is a mistake, because even though it is part of our trajectory, we have to focus on the present and what we can do now ”, analyzes the scientist. Therefore, even if there is still a grudge, pain and regret about missed job opportunity, to great unappreciated love or the death of someone special, these feelings must be worked on so that it is clear that there is no way to change the past and that your actions now can prevent new pain. Oil, trust and do it differently.

For all the points already mentioned comes a fundamental: self knowledge. Getting to know yourself can be more difficult than getting to know your best friend. Fabiano adds that this may be the basis of numerous issues and dilemmas. “We can only know what makes us happy when we truly know each other, otherwise, vain attempts that will only waste our time and energy ”. Speaking quite didactically, is to imagine life as a big buffet. If you don't know what your favorite dishes are, will not know how to choose. You can overfill your plate with foods you don't like and stuff yourself with what you won't be satisfied with., or, throw away food that could satisfy someone else. So it is with relationship and opportunities. Just like we do with food, try and discover the flavors that please you, and, given the countless options in life it will be easier to be assertive and make wise choices. "Meditation, readings and downtime, the so-called creative leisure, contribute to our analysis ”, explains Abreu.

Finally, and not less important, have goals. “Living without a set course is guaranteed frustration, because to live without goals is to go in circles, you don't get where you want to because you don't know where you belong”, the firm. The feeling of achievement moves the human being, and, aiming at a purpose and achieving it is motivating, just as living without an ideal brings boredom and emptiness. “I like the thought of Uruguayan writer Eduardo Galeano, he makes the metaphor of utopia as something that is always moving away each time we approach, because its meaning is always to make us walk towards it. So are the goals ”, defines the neuroscientist.

Biography / formations

Neurophilosophist Fabiano de Abreu – doctor in neuroscience, psychologist, neuropsicólogo, neuropsicanalista, neuroplasticista, psychoanalyst, psychopedagogue, journalist, philosopher, clinical nutritionist, businessman and member of Mensa, Association smartest people in the world with headquarters in England. Specialist in human mind studies and researcher at CPAH – Heraclitus Research and Analysis Center.

Registration and curriculum as a researcher: lattes.cnpq.br/1428461891222558
Registro SPN – Portuguese Society of Neurosciences – 814
SBNeC Registry – Brazilian Society of Neuroscience and Behavior – 6028488
Member of FENS – Federation of European Neuroscience Societies – PT30079

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