Today many have the impression that packed the immediacy of social networks and the internet, people have become very volatile, impatient and often intolerant of limiting the next. By offering applications and social networking sites like Tinder and Happn, love can be instantaneous, cyber and affinities, where the user goes through a kind of people menu, but not necessarily plans and thoughts beyond today.
So what is the secret of couples who stay together for decades and which lead to the end of the vows of eternal love that they made before religion, friends and society? The philosopher and writer Fabiano de Abreu believe that, although relationships are not easy to maintain, You can find reasons to stay together: "The whole relationship to work has to have solid foundations. The relationship is a constant hit game, are we and the other trying to find balance in which both feel full and satisfied. Relations are not so easy in reality compared to the romantic idealizations of the books or films. People are unique beings who bear itself several senses and personalities of varied life. "
By mounting or Puzzle
For Fabiano de Abreu, relationships are like a puzzle, a puzzle that sometimes linger to ride and find the meaning but, a full-time makes us more peaceful: “as if the whole process of construction was a teaching, knowing who is on our side and, at which time, the floor we walk we are more familiar and tend to be more true. "
However, the philosopher points out that, to reach a solution, all the parts need to be on the table, no half truths and without hiding the other, so that the couple can finally assemble the puzzle and understand: "A part is missing, the puzzle is never complete. That piece missing can generate a gap in the relationship. There are differences even hopeless when feelings are strong and incompatible personalities can become impassable chasms. "
Tripod Relationship
In his latest theory of human relations, the philosopher points out three key points that would be the basis for the longevity of a relationship. Fabiano calls the concept Tripod Relationship. Similarly to a tripod, stable and balanced on each of its legs, the philosopher points out that when the three points that make up the Tripod are structured Relationship, if you can have balanced relations, which are the basic principle of happy relationships. Check:
respect – be faithful not only to the individual but also to his convictions. Respect their opinions, choices, individuality and freedom seeking a balance point so that also respects the other two points of the tripod. Respect is appreciation, consideration, deference. It does not put the other in complicated or unpleasant positions, is not hurt.
Understanding – accept and respect opinions and behaviors. Understanding is one of balance search components. The balance is required for maintenance and duration of the relationship. Understanding is the beginning of the process of argumentation. It's a way to keep the peace in a couple.
Tolerance – tolerate the other focuses on peace and balance that is necessary for longevity in the relationship. We have to have tolerance for that intelligence is activated without decompensation. Tolerance is to understand each other and seek balance with arguments and healthy conversations. Tolerance is knowing how to listen, It is to have the necessary humility to recognize our limits and the other, It is to know what went wrong and know how to forgive also.
puzzle – name given to the game 'puzzle'.
Abreu Fabiano biography
Philosopher, writer, poet and student of psychoanalysis. He created the 'Stop', a group of related studies to their theories that has the neuropsychologist Roselene Holy Spirit Wagner and archaeologist Joana Freitas as collaborators. Member of Mensa, Association smartest people in the world with headquarters in England, It has the IQ certificate with 99 percentile being considered the highest point on IQ tests. Specialist studies of the human mind, He created a unique concept of types of intelligence and how it interferes in human life.